Not allowed
by Neyuwa
Summary: A story about a girl with no freedom, who tries to built herself a new life at Teiko (sorry I suck at writing summaries)


Ever since I was little, my father forbid me everything I liked. He always was a really strict and grave person. I don't really see me as his daughter. No. How could I? I am more like a slave or a servant who wasn't allowed to do anything, except the few things, he found okay. When I was six years old, he started to hit me when I disobeyed or questioned is authority. In the age of twelve, he even started to do worse things to me. Sure, he always told me he was doing this because he loves me and don't want to lose me, but this wasn't true. Yes, it may be that he didn't want to lose me, but not because of love. The real reason was, that he wouldn't have a servant if I wouldn't be there…

Genuflecting on the floor I let him scream at me. He told me, I was some useless piece of dirt under his feet and I had to do everything much better. In the end of his speech, he stood up from his armchair and walked towards me. I didn't look at him. I was forbidden to do this. My body was trembling a little and I wasn't able to stop it. I already knew that he was about to hurt me, and two seconds later, he did. Unlike usually it was rather harmless. He crouched in front of me and told me to look him in the eyes. I did it and immediately he slapped me three times. Some tears ran down my cheeks wherefore I got another hit, but this time with his clenched fist. It hurt really badly, but I wasn't allowed to complain about it or even cry.

"Dismissed." He said when he finished with my punishment.

"Thank you." I answered before I left the room. I went to the bathroom to look at myself. My left cheek was really red, but compared to the other times he punished me, it was nothing. I looked at my arms where I still was able to see some bruises and cuts or scars. They didn't hurt, but it looked really ugly. I hate it. No, I hate me! I sighed. I left the room after some seconds again. I still had some work to do and unpack cartons, because we just moved…

In the evening, when father and I were sitting at the table and ate the food I made before, he told me some new rules I had to follow from now on.

"I want to talk to you about your new school. You are not allowed to make male friends. At all I don't find it good if you have any friends. You're going to school because you have to learn and not because of some stupid friends. They are useless! Next, you're not allowed to take part in the PE lessons or any after school activities. Also, you are not allowed to go on field trips and such things. I already talked to your principal and he said that this will be alright. After lessons you will come straight home. If I get to know that you disobey those, or the school rules, you will be punished. Understood?"

"Yes." Sure I understood this rules, but I didn't really accepted or liked them. If I would disobey father's orders, he would punish me, no matter what my reason was, but I had a plan. On the first day tomorrow, I would stay longer and maybe join a club. Then later at home, I would tell him that the lessons were just over and I would have some free time or club time from this day on. Also I wouldn't obey all the orders. On my old school I did and the consequence was, that everybody hated, excluded and bullied me. That's not what I want again. This time I would be me, at least in school. Nobody needed to know about my private life, so I could have a different personality, MY personality, at least in school. Yea, that's what I wanted to do, but father irrupted my thoughts.

"Good." He smiled at me. "I know your timetable and your way to school is only ten minutes by foot. I expect you to be here in time."

I winced. Right, he was the one who got the timetable from the school and not me. I clenched my fists but didn't show them to my father. Slowly I nodded. With a nearly devilish smile he stood up and left the room. His last words were "Clean the dishes" And I did it…

In the morning I woke up as early as ever. It was good since I didn't had to hurry for the walk with my dog Mayu. She was my everything and my only friend ever since I was six years old. I put on some comfortable clothes and took the leash. Together with my dog I went out. It was 6am now and Mayu needed at least 30 minutes of walking or 15 minutes of running. I decided to run. Even if father didn't want me to make sports because I could get hurt and I wasn't allowed to leave the house without his permission, I did it nearly every morning. The trick was, that I had to be back by 6:30am before he would wake up. Up until now he never recognized it.

The weather outside was nice. The sun was rising up and it was surprisingly warm for the middle of spring. I took a deep breath and looked at the big dog next to me.

"Ready Mayu?" I smiled happily. The dog barked and we started to run around for a while. We ran over some empty streets and through a park before we walked the way back slowly. It was the first time I was outside since we moved. On the first day I was allowed to go shopping, but that was all. Even Mayu had to suffer under it. She didn't got enough run and if she had to pee or something, she had to go into the garden. I felt so sorry for her, but now we were able to be outside for at least this half hour. The air was so refreshing. I wish I could stay outside forever or at least go out more often. When I was daydreaming for a moment it happened that I walked into someone. I came to mind again when I realized that I was sitting on the cold, solid ground. I looked up to see who the one I just ran into was. What I saw impressed me a little. It was a boy with piercing red hair and eyes. He looked really polite and wasn't that tall. Even if he just wore a sport suit he looked rather lofty, but it fitted him very well.

"Is everything alright with you?" With a worried face he helped me to stand up. Immediately I recognized that he was really strong. Without any problems he pulled me up and I didn't had to help him a little. I nodded. It has been a while since I talked to a boy for the last time.

"I… I am dreadfully sorry." I whispered while I looked around and searched for Mayu, who ran away in the moment I fell down.

"Forget about it. It is alright. You are searching for your dog aren't you? I saw him run to the right. May I help you searching him?"

"H-her..." I whispered.

"I beg your pardon? I didn't understand you. May you repeat it a little louder?"

"It's a female dog…So it's 'her'" I responded a little louder. The boy smiled at me polite and nodded.

"Then, shall I help you search your female dog?"

Again I nodded. I told the boy that the name of my dog was Mayu and he said that it was a really cute name. For a while we searched until we found her in a flowerbed, chasing after a butterfly. I was so relieved when I could hug her again and leashed her. With her in dragrope, I turned around again and went to the boy, who waited for me next to a huge oak tree. When I arrived he smiled polite again.

"I am really grateful for your help." I bowed a little before I continued speaking. "I am very sorry, but I completely forgotten to ask for your name until now. Would you please tell me?"

"But of course. I am Akashi Seijuro. And may I ask for the lady's name too?"

Again I blushed a little bit before I started to answer. This boy was so polite. "It is pleasure to meet you Akashi-kun. Certainly you are allowed to ask for my name and I don't know any reason I wouldn't tell you. I am Makino Noa."

He nodded slowly. I smiled a little. It felt so good to talk to a boy and father wouldn't even know about it. If he does, he would go wild and punish me really hard. When I thought about father, something came into my mind again. I looked at Akashi-kun urgently and asked him for the time. When he told me that it was already 6:40am I was shocked.

"I'm very sorry Akashi-kun, but I have to go home now. I am already late and my father don't like it when I am late."

"I know how you feel, my father wants me to be punctual too. Well, anyways it was a pleasure to meet you Makino-san. I hope we see each other again soon."

I told him that I hope so too and ran away afterwards. How could I forget the time? This was the most important part of my plan of sneaking out in the morning. Now that I would come late and he'd recognize me, all that would be over. There was one day he busted me while I tried to sneak out and he told me, if I would try it ever again, he would lock me up in my room until he would stand up in the morning. I arrived home, unlocked and opened the door and went in slowly. I first put away the leash before I went up the stairs. When I was half way up, I heard a cough behind me. I winced. I knew that it was father, who else could it be? Slowly I turned around to look how angry he was, but he looked very calm. When he started to smile, my heart suspended. The last time I saw him with a smile in the face, he stabbed me with a knife and locked me up in the basement for several days. Fear filled me slowly. Father showed me to come down again and I did it. As soon as I arrived downstairs, he punched me very hard over and over again. I started to cry…

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_Soo it's fanfiction I wrote some month ago and just found again ^^ I think I will keep writing it~  
See ya next time my lil' teddys~ _( ó㉨ò)ﾉ


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